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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Mr. Snappy's Address to ConHo

Earlier today, mrsnappy, one of the leaders of Consolidated Holdings, posted a mail to all members, stating the future intentions of the corporation, and how its members can contribute.

Mr. Snappy, please note the badass shades
Consolidated Holdings
I hope that you read this mail with a open mind, and understand Mr. Snappy's heart while typing it out.
Conho had a epic year last year, and we are charging full steam into anouther one, with big plans. The conho members are a major factor for these plans. Conho can only move forward if you, ''the member'', are pulling allong with us.

Conho is manufacturing, and trying to put things in schenns to make it so members dont have to go to Jita and or Dodixie. We are going to be working hard with some of our colition members, and alliance, to make a nice little hub for us. Please dont take away from the corp, Conho is saving up items for a corp store, so you the member can benefit, from us all working together.
Conho has a lot of good people playing under one roof, this, believe it or not, is a harder thing to have than one might think. We have a great ore and salvage buying program, I said great, not perfect. This allows the member to quickly move on with things they want to do, in turn more isk. Just think of the free knowledge at your fingertips, "don't underestimate this one''.
The time and isk one can save, just by asking a good member a question . . . if I had been in a corp like this when I first started the game, I could have been a lot farther allong in the game. This corp being this young, and small, has great secruity. Conho is a part of a great collition, that has some badass pilots, and we have made friends with a lot of merc corps. This list goes on and on.
 

"Get to the point", one might be saying. Balance, balance, balance. I am not asking you to stop doing your own thing, and or what you like doing. I am asking you to rember, conho needs your ore, and salvage. This is not a mail asking for a hand out, or donation, we buy it. This mail is to remind you to ballance, doing your own thing, wile keeping conho going forward.  

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
-mrsnappy

Monday, January 23, 2012

Attempted Mining Op Gank is Spectacular Failure

While mining the Amygnon belts yesterday, Olli Racoon and his fleet were pulling in a heavy load of minerals when pirates from Full Contact entered the system and began firing upon the ships. Luckily, the ships were properly tanked and able to escape the situation.

The fleet remained under CONCORD protection throughout the rest of the op.

"The mining fleet is under heavy protection now," Olli Raccon says proudly in his transmission to ConHo Daily. "They tried to gank us, we warped off, and they got CONCORD'd."

This event serves as an excellent example as to why your non-combat ships (especially mining vessels) should have a proper tank at all times. Hadn't these ships been using the proper fittings, heavy losses could have occurred. Luckily, only the pirates lost this day.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

ConHo Logo Spotted in Film

Lord Mandelor, in his desire to create the perfect cinematic experience, was careless enough to not think of the good name of Consolidated Holdings, whose logo is clearly visible in the beginning of the video below.



Whether or not disciplinary action will be taken for a form of "false advertisement" remains to be seen.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

ConHo Has Ten Shares Still Available for Purchase

Out of the 100 shares that were sold inside of Consolidated Holdings, 90 have sold for 4.5 Billion isk and there are now only 10 left to purchase. These shares are considered to be highly valuable, as ConHo's value has been increasing consistently for the past months, and growth is becoming exponential.

Funds from share purchasing go towards the corporation, increasing their value in turn.
Along with the perks of taking ownership of the company, and having voting power in matters of corporate affairs, there is also a large financial potential for investment. Dividends for these shares will be paid quarterly.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Social Report: Racism Between Four Empires Declines

After many years of strife, racial propaganda and prejudice between the empires of New Eden seems to be slowly fading away.

A horrific example, for your viewing pleasure

However, this does not necessarily mean it is being wiped out since less overt actions are being taken against one another. It could very well mean that there are secretive rallies being held in the cargo-bays in ships or the lavatories in stations.

Many attribute the decrease in open hostilities to two factors. The increasingly hostile incursions by Sansha's Nation have led many capsuleers to beautifully unite in hate against them, and the looming threat of the Jovian Empire is also being made out to be much more threatening, despite the fact the Jove haven't really done a thing in years besides distributing some shuttles as handouts to a few pilots.

A freighter pilot, Rusty-Ezekiel Jebediah, was able to comment quite nicely on the matter with the Jove.

"To put it in, er, simpler terms, WE DON'T LIKE DER KIND ROUND HERE," Rusty began (the audio quality of the recorded conversation degraded heavily due to spittle on the microphone).

"Them Joveens always tryin' to keep us outta dere gates like it's some kinda fence! So we say that we don't want no Jovies sneakin' into OUR parts of space, y'hear? I won't have no Jumpin' Jovies crossin' MY bored of space I tell ya what!"

There are also those who believe that the Jovian are not hostile to the people of New Eden, and, in fact, view us as insects not to be concerned with. Take these warm words to heart when considering bigotry.

How long the mud-slinging against the empires will be delayed remains a mystery, but we here at ConHo Daily would like to remind you that we are never bigoted in our opinions, especially with those who we consider to be a people of great misfortune and smelliness, such as the Minmatar.




Wednesday, January 11, 2012

ConHo Daily Editor Returns: Few Cares Given

After several months of overdue stasis, the editor for ConHo Daily has once again returned to brighten your dull, dull, corporate-enslaved lives.

Dramatic reenactment. Editor is much more handsome.
"I don't know what the f**k happened," the editor stammered, adjusting the large pauldron on his leather suit, made out of what appeared to be the skull of a furrier.

"Like, I woke up out of warp stasis, but I'm on some desert planet, and this guy with a deep voice made me get in this dune buggy we had, and I fought mutants and stuff. I don't really know where I've been, but thank god CONCORD found me when they did."

The editor was found lying facedown in an excrement pile roughly the size of an Ibis, dressed in what appeared to be the hides of local animals (long ago having consumed his regular clothing for fiber).

Here are the highlights from the past while:

- Gallente lobbyists sued ConHo Daily for failing to live up to its name. Luckily, the disclaimer saved the newspaper from their clutches. 

- Lord Mandelor and Xeddiphan have both gone missing. Mandelor has returned from time to time (rumored to be involved in some sort of slave trade) and Xeddiphan is off on a crusade Mandelor briefly only referred to as "The Great Poop".

- Entjudner Richter, after being speculated as evil, has finally been replaced by the even MORE sinisterly named Ira Finkelstein. However, it is revealed Ira is yet ANOTHER clone mind-linked to Ent, and was available for interview after he stepped out of the stasis pod. His beautiful first words after emergence are quoted here.

"Mein Führer! I can valk!"
 - Hulkaggedon is in full festive swing! With several ConHo mining vessels lost already.

- Celebrations continue throughout the Amygnon colonies, as Xeddiphan's disappearance has sparked an incredible amount of an increase in living standards, but a drop in production. It is unknown whether the disappearance of the Colonial Managers has significantly effected productivity. 

- Shares of the company were made available to members for 50 million isk each, in a limited amount of 100. How many shares actually EXIST remains unknown. 


We look forward to many more months/days of service and news!