Linguistic Scientist Makes Enormous Breakthrough: Caldari Can be Rearranged to Spell "Radical"

Logo of the Caldari State, now scientifically proven as awesome

Ishukone linguistic analyst John Anagram made a fascinating discovery today, sparking mass celebrations of extra work throughout Caldari space.

"After all this time, none of us knew 'Caldari' could be rearranged to spell 'radical'. It just proves how superior we are to those pansy Gallente!" Anagram shouted, bursting with patriotism.

The Gallente, panicked about this dire turn of events, immediately assigned five hobgoblin drones to rearrange the letters of 'Gallente' to spell something praiseworthy, but the drones only succeeded in obliterating an office printer. In light of this, a distribution's expert named Agent Ell took up the case.

"I just know there's a gem buried in our alphabet," Ell said. "I just need to find it."

However, Agent Ell's results were less than gem-worthy. After coming up with phrases like "La Gentle" and "A Gel Lent", it quickly became apparent that Gallente could not be rearranged to spell something cool, but in fact, stupid meaningless things.

"What's a Gel Lent?" a burly Minmatar politician asked. "And can you eat 'em?"

Other races of New Eden failed to take part in the competition, but not for the reason of coming between the Gallente and Caldari rivalry. The Minmatar apparently had trouble spelling 'Minmatar', even to the point of adding a '7' in the middle of the name, and promptly gave up. It has also been reported that the Amarr were aware of the situation, but were too depressed to even try due to the shortness of their name.

"This is most certainly a crushing blow to the Federation," an Amarr scribe noted. "Even though we have no hidden message inside of our monicker, we are at least pleased that it does not contain something preposterous."

It is unknown whether the discovery will incite yet another war between the Caldari and Gallente, but it remains likely that the mockery of the Federation and respect for the State may continue for a long time to come.

CONCORD Police were unavailable for comment on the rising political tension, as PR officials are busy trying to fix their weakened public image, as Anagram also revealed that their department can be rearranged to spell 'Coco Pencil Rod'.