Minmatar Republic Gives Harsh Rebuttal to ConHo Daily: No One Yet Able To Care

Logo of the Republic, who continue to put words beneath their logos to prove they can spell

 

After baseless accusations of "biased Caldari favoritism", "gross exaggerations", and "blatant fabrication of material", the Minmatar Republic has sent an official legal rebuttal to ConHo Daily.

To the editor of Consolidated Holdings Daily:

As a respected and well-known elder of the Brutor tribe, I must protest to the false allegations regarding our proud and noble race that were declared in the "newspaper" that you distribute. We are not mindless animals, but a brave, courageous race that has endured ages of slavery only to break free through our sheer will and determination. We will no longer tolerate the slurs of "ugly", "freaks", "smelly", or any combination of the terms seen in this literature. 

I urge your readers to ignore the misinformed ramblings of your so-called news outlet and use well-established mainstream sources like The Scope for information. I sincerely hope that your viewers heed my warning, and you discontinue this atrocity.

Derei Stankner, Elder of the Brutor Tribe

 After the paper was thrown into the ConHo Daily's Official Memory Hole to burn off the dead insects and variations of syphilis, the staff had a very hearty laugh. While it is still unknown who TRULY wrote the letter, most suspect it was a Gallente trickster trying to pull a prank.

"A Minmatar pilot being able to spell the word 'tribe' correctly!" Arthur Asimov howled, tears of laughter falling into his bottle of Quafe.

"That's just classic!"

In the likelihood that the letter was in fact written by some sort of mutated, super-intelligent Minmatar, all those who had contact with the letter are to report to the nearest medical center for decontamination and flea bathing.