Pilot Replaces Ship Computer with Etch-a-Sketch: Serpentis Develops Own Technology Out of Fear

Aura, the galactic standard for ship computers. Replaceable by toy?

In the past week, eccentric inventor Olli Racoon of Consolidated Holdings publicly declared to the corporation and the galactic scientific community at large that he would be replacing Aura with an ancient child's plaything called an "etch-a-sketch".

Aura, the on-board flight computer based off the likeness of famous Gallentean holostar Excena Foer, is universally used by pod pilots throughout New Eden, and you can be very, VERY certain that she will tell you when your autopilot is on, when you are jumping gates, or setting waypoints. Those capsuleers who use alternate clones through a mindlink are all too aware of what happens to their ears when they hear Aura in triplicate or worse.

"I can't take it," groaned a Charon pilot. "If I hear 'autopilot approaching stargate' one more time I'm going to kill everybody's cat."

Olli seemed to believe that Aura was beneath him in technological standards, and marvelously engineered a way to have his ship's computer replaced with an etch-a-sketch. An official post-report was made by the small corporation at Garoun Investment Bank that helped develop the new technology.

"When Olli Racoon came to the corporation's technology office, the first thing we saw was that he was singing some god-awful rendition of a song about walking astrometric kilometers or something strange like that. Then he slaps this design down on the table, and we noticed that it was paper. I mean come on, who the hell uses paper these days? What are we, Minmatar? Anyways, the second thing we see is that the design for this contraption was scribbled down in red crayon. We told him it would never work, but for a straight hour he just yelled at the starship engineer until he did it somehow."

Olli Racoon, pioneer of controversial 'Sketch Ships'

The Serpentis Pirates, famous for being easily confused and removing braking systems from their starships, were terrified by the prospect of "a computuh that don't do no numbers" and immediately attempted to replace their engines with live spider monkeys tied to the back of their ships, which proved to be a spectacular failure resulting in large belts of dead spider monkeys that would continually get caught in the exhaust vents of local mining barges for days to come. It has been reported that CONCORD Central Command was less than thrilled about deploying four Nocti crews to clear the mess from the system.

Apparently a representative from the Serpentis pirates began to open negotiations with the bank for a "revolutionary design, with twice as many spider monkeys AND an orangutan" when Racoon came back into the office at the same time. When Racoon whipped out a red crayon and began to draw the circuit diagram for a new doomsday device (named The Ollicannon) the Serpentis Corporation in Amygnon offered to disband, and quietly leave the system on the spot.